There’s a trend in society right now, especially all over social media, to accept mediocrity. Specifically, mediocrity in motherhood, marriage, and faith.
As a younger woman, I’m very troubled by the lack of Titus 2 mentorship exhibited or offered by older women, but also by younger women who foolishly brush off seeking wise council or who easily fall prey to ungodly council. I see younger women who do want to strive for righteousness but are often mocked by seasoned mothers/married women who have accepted mediocrity that “your expectations are too high” or “the higher you place yourself the harder you will fall,” “just wait till you have kids, then you’ll understand.” There’s a myriad of ungodly excuses I’ve personally heard that are all the more distressing. Yes, there are probably cases where expectations are too high, but better striving for excellence than just ok. After all, the Bible has things to say about striving for excellence.
We’ve got an onslaught of ungodly ideologies and advice being hurled at us via social media all day. Things like….
• You need booze/wine at the end of every day to tolerate your family/children, when the Bible specifically admonishes older women to instruct the younger to be sober minded.
• It’s perfectly fine if we haven’t done much all day, we’re a mess, the house is a wreck, and the children are running amuck, so long as they’re fed (dry cereal).
• Anything the world offers you takes priority over your family.
• Women are incapable of lying, so believe all of them always, regardless of facts.
• Gossiping is fine.
• You need every bright shiny thing to make your life easier and happier, or your kids lives easier and happier.
• Being financially irresponsible is cute or funny. Max out those credit cards, girl!
The list goes on, but those are the big ones.
With all that garbage fed to us regularly we are in desperate need of stable, firm footed, godly women who are more than willing to point out sin and ungodliness, but also who will encourage those who are striving for excellence and raising a higher bar for themselves and their families. If many older women are falling prey to these wicked ideas, will those of us who are younger fleeing these things have to fend for ourselves?
I’ve watched women I once admired accept and defend ungodly ideologies, practices, and political propaganda only to justify their newfound beliefs without scripture. I’ve watched them fall prey to ungodly “teachers” who preached a false god and now publicly accept these heretics. I’ve watched them slowly morph into something I don’t want to become myself and as a result had to distance myself as necessary. After all, show me your friends character and I’ll show you your future.
I recognize without a doubt that people are fallen and will make mistakes. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about women who have turned their back, seemingly so, to everything they once held dear, their first love.
I have a rubric of sorts that helps me identify if an older women is one I want counseling me or someone I want to keep close company with. I also use this to identify whether or not just about any female is sound company. not in any specific order of importance:
1. Do her (older) children rise and call her blessed? If so, great! If not, why?
2. Does her husband rise and called her blessed and praise her publicly? Does his heart trust in her? If so, great! If not why?
3. Do her (older) children follow the path in the way they should go and do not seek to depart from it? A sign that they’ve been well trained and admonished in the Lord. If so, great! If not, why?
4. Does she worry and exude anxiousness? Or is she steady in the sovereignty of the Lord trusting him for the future? If so, great! If not, why?
5. Is she wise financially? Or does she frivolously spend her families hard earned money? Is she materialistic? If no, great! If yes, why?
6. Does she do her family good and not harm? If yes, great! If not, why?
7. Does she manage her home and family affairs well? Or are things in disarray and chaotic? If managed well, great! If not, why?
8. Does she fear the Lord? If so, great! If not, run.
9. Is her husband sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness? If so, great! If not, why?
10. Does her husband teach what accords with sound doctrine and does she affirm this? If so, great! If not, why?
11. Is she prone to slander, gossip, and drinking too much wine or other alcohol? If no, great! If so, run.
12. Does she posses a teachable spirit herself? Does she receive instruction/correction with a contrite spirit and quickly ask for forgiveness when necessary? If so, great! If not, run.
13. Does she affirm Titus 2:4-5? If so, great! If not, run!
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.”
We as women, sorely need Godly fellowship and desperately need older women willing to speak boldly over the lies culture speaks, even though they are so far from popular truths.
To those of you who already do this, thank you! And to those who don’t, seek out the Godly women in your lives. It’s not only helpful, it’s called for in scripture! Thank you for being steadfast.